Wednesday, February 9, 2011


There's no other way to put it than that. It hurts. So many of us hide ourselves away in closets, drawers, computer files, because its easier than facing the rejection of someone you might already have your heart set on. I love Glee. Last night, the Valentine's special, was all about rejection. It seemed like everyone but the most unlikely couples were getting rejected.

Talking to one of my darlings the other night, we both discussed the worst Valentine's Day we ever had. My favorite day of February is February 15th because all the leftover candy and roses are on sale. Since I've been single, I've come to really despise this holiday, even though my ex never celebrated it with me for the last 14 years after he bought me a stuffed animal. I handed it to one of the four babies I gave him and that was the last time he bought me anything for Valentine's that wasn't after the 15th out of guilt.

What girl wouldn't dream of that perfect Valentine? The rose petals scattered across the bedspread, the dozen of red roses with the heart shaped box of candy and the pie de resistance, the most romantic card ever with a sweet note in his/her handwriting.  Do you just hate jewelry commercials? Those heart shaped diamond necklaces, the engagement rings?

Rejection for me came today. Usually Ms. Pearl is pretty impervious to such crud. I shake it off my heels and move on, but this one is hard. This girl really got to me. It's been a year, an on again, off again, a momentary chat, coffee, lunch, dinner. Her hard to get is fear. Trust me, there's a hairbrush here with her name on it, even though I knew she needed to be handled with opera gloves.

So today, I'll celebrate the let down of Valentine's day and the romance. I'll pout and write, ignore the world but I won't cry. I have no regrets when it comes to her, my side of the street is clean. I've heard this week three girls tell me its easier to stay alone, where they are at. Maybe that's where this girl is coming from too. How do we break past that fear of rejection?

I know that I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone and I wish that all of us find the partners we hope for every night when we stare into our closets or slip that satin nighty over our shoulders. Well, I have poetry to memorize and queries to write and formats to fix. Dishes to wash and laundry to fold, so I oughta just get off this pitty pot and get it done.

I'm going to add the beautiful poem, 'Comes the Dawn' to this blog. I think today, I need to buy my own flowers and decorate my own soul. Even if they are 99 cent primroses.  I know if I had the funds and knew where to go, I'd take some flowers to my girls. So for now, I'll send you roses from my heart.

Focus Phrases: How will you decorate your soul this Valentine's Day and celebrate the girl inside you?

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